couple, holding hands, man

A lot is said and advised about this word especially when it comes to relationships.

Most of us are told to look for compatible partners when it comes to marriage. My question is, how does one look for something so permanent when people’s behaviors are temporary? Strange, isn’t it?

People grow over time. We don’t have the same wants and needs today as opposed to what we had in our childhood. Similarly, in partnerships, we do a lot of things together, but we are also individually evolving. Our views and wants change from time to time. People change, it is a fact, they can’t be the same forever.

Hence the idea is to choose character over compatibility. Compatibility is between lifestyles, relatability, and your mindset about equality and respect. Most people confuse this with similar interests.
Compatibility has very little to do with similarities; it is all about respecting differences and that I feel comes from the way we perceive things.

I have observed two very like-minded people getting divorced 2 years into marriage after dating 10 years. They seemed to be the best couple.

Similarly, take the example of Bill Gates and Miranda Gates; they filed for divorce after 27 years of marriage. And they stated that they were not compatible. It is strange and shocking that after spending such a long time together, they decided to separate. They must have thought that their relationship worked because they have spent a lot of time together, and they were compatible, but their separation proved them wrong.

So what is compatibility?

Understanding each other’s differences and trying to sort them without drama, conflict, and dispute is compatible. Two individuals can share the same interest but cannot be the same as each other. Even a couple is made of two individuals, they can never be the same. It is what makes you compliment the other person.

You can be compatible with someone when you know who you are and what you want. Then you can hand what the other individual wants.

Falling in love doesn’t mean you are compatible, you can fall in love with anyone, but you are compatible with the person you decide to share and work differences together and create a balance and hold onto each other.

Two completely imperfect individuals can also lead a perfect life together not because they are enjoying the quarrels but because they decide not to give up. They decided to resolve their differences, accept their interest and different sides.

You can’t be compatible with someone in a snap of time, it will take time. It is not easy but then where is the fun. It is about companionship, communication, willingness, acceptance, and bringing the best of yourself and the other soul.


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